On somewhat of a whim, I applied to go back to school. And I’m in.

Yes, it’s exciting. However, I’m nervous and not sure I can hack it. I can’t even afford it. It’s a tiny, private school which tends to churn out excellent grads in fields which don’t have a great number of students. I’d be a student with little prior knowledge, but I know if I do chose to attend, I will have to work my ass off. And not just at school, which is regarded as extremely challenging and damn near impossible to alos work a part time job. I’ll still have to work. At least I have a pretty good job for that. I’m a barista at one of the corporations, which allows me flexible hours and free coffee, both of which I’d require.

Currently, I’m unsure. I’m going to have to take a good hard look at my options. I’m going to have to have a number of conversations with the people I trust and know what the curriculum entails. One of the biggest challenges will actually to tell my mother, who absolutely won’t support me. I know this from previous conversations about going to school. I went once and that should have been enough.

The odds aren’t in my favor. I already hold a BA, and it’s a small school no one has ever heard of outside of the industry. I almost never see my boyfriend now and we share a room. I’d really never see him. I really have no idea what to do at this point. I was actually kind of hoping to be rejected. It makes the decision that much easier. It’s not like I told anyone to begin with. It would be a secret of my own.

I don’t remember it sucking this much the first time. Granted it was “this school or that one?” It came down to in state tuition. It was the only major difference. This time, though, it’s picking a life and career path. I guess it’s not forever, but just until my loans are paid off. I do have to consider who else this effects, which is namely my boyfriend. He does get a say in the matter, not the final word, but a definite say. Something tells me he’s going to be excited. Then again it’s his alma mater and he didn’t get in the first time. However, I do have the female thing working for me, especially in the programming track.



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